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If your kid has just hit puberty and you've just seen him struggle with the realities of alcohol and other drugs, then you know this can be the roughest time of life for many teenagers.
A large part of the problem with drug and alcohol use is that it's not usually portrayed as the rational decision a young adult has to make. It's often portrayed as the problem of individuals, as if their developing brains are all like fuses, and if some kids smoke pot for too long they'll be hopelessly hooked on the stuff and unable to function.
The reality is that the drug and alcohol use of any young person is a collective decision made by his family. As a culture we've developed a model of family life where any individual's needs are rarely seen as being important enough to override the needs of others in the family. And if the family doesn't support the teenage use of substances like alcohol and marijuana, the teenager has nowhere to go. And so the allure of alcohol and drugs becomes enormous.
Many teenagers who enjoy using drugs, get involved in gangs and become involved in other kinds of criminal behaviour, because the culture they've been in is very disconnected from their needs. There's just not much incentive for them to grow out of that culture.
Parents have a serious and important role to play in this field. If they want their children to have a happy, healthy and productive adulthood, they need to look very hard at the role their society plays in their children's lives. We often think of kids as innocent, but a large number of those innocent kids have been placed at risk by adults who have been as irresponsible as they are persistent. And there's always the risk that their kids could end up in more serious trouble than the parent ever could.
The most important job we parents can do is to lay down the guidelines of appropriate behaviour for our children. We have to stop thinking that because our child hasn't made the same decision as another child that they're bad.
What we need to be doing is trying to encourage our kids to make reasonable, rational decisions, and then laying down the consequences for them if they don't. When we take that approach we set our kids up for success. The more we teach our kids to make good decisions, the less likely they are to end up making bad ones.
It's hard to explain to parents just how much of a difference that makes. We'll just share some ideas with you of things you can do right now.
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Poet, journalist and political campaigner Sarah Wise makes a party political attack on the Lib Dems and the Tories this week.
A journalist working at The Guardian for more than a decade, Sarah Wise has a background in teacher training and campaigning. She specialises in looking at the profound changes to our society, living in the countryside and has written for The New Statesman and The Independent. In addition she has written two books on the country’s social history.
Based on the https://saykorviza.weebly.com
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